The Joy in our Marriage

Anyone who knows David personally knows that he’s a funny guy.  After his blue eyes and sincere smile (both of which I saw from across the room), it was one of the first things that attracted me a teenager back in 1990.  He does a pretty great job of keeping me in stitches, and that really does give us a good jump start on the ‘JOY’ parts of our marriage. 

But ‘joy’, to me, is so much more than ‘happiness.’   I see happiness as a mood, fleeting perhaps.  Joy is harder for me to articulate, but I see it as something that is deep down inside of you.  It permeates your being.  

I’m so blessed to be able to say that I experience total joy in my marriage.  When I think over what I do to experience joy, I think of these: 

I seek it with intention.

Joy is a choice.   We have the ability to be intentional about “counting it pure joy” (James 1:2).   It can be a tough road some days, but it’s still a choice. 

“Joy does not simply happen to us.   We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.” — Henri Nouwen


It’s a choice to smile.  The  more you smile the better you feel.  Really. 

It’s our choice to have ‘date night’ once a week.  We are intentional about that time together in order to lift up our marriage and enjoy eachother, one on one, without the distraction of children.    It’s our chance to feel truly connected.  Many a Monday, I get an email from David saying “4 more nights until date night”! 

It doesn’t cost us a thing besides the food we’re cooking and the wine we’re drinking, but it’s worth so much more than anything else we do.  

I view it as a gift.

Every good and every perfect gift is from above (James 1:17) and that certainly includes my marriage.   When I think of it as a gift, it causes me to treat it a bit more respectfully than I would if it were just something I found laying around somewhere.  

We laugh together. 

I mean serious laughter.  We play fight.  We tickle.  We crazy dance together.  We sometimes sing as loudly and badly as we can.  It’s good to get silly.   I’m telling you, it gives me a special kind of butterflies in my belly and I am drawn closer to my husband when we’re connecting on a new silliness level.


” Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

 –Abraham Lincoln


 Have fun seeking the joy in your marriage this week! 

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Sarah at SmallWorld Reads
    Feb 10, 2011 @ 12:10:36

    What a great post. I have explained to friends so often that my husband and do have a great marriage, but we work every day to make sure we keep it that way. It’s a choice, every day, to love each other. AND a gift!


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