Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

At church yesterday, I picked our Easter Letter out of the appropriate alphabetical section, looked at the envelope and smiled.  It addressed us as Mr. and Mrs. Hubby’s Name.  I turned to ‘D’ and said, “I never ever tire of that.”  He gave me an affectionate rub on the back and said, “Good, but there are lots of people out there who wouldn’t agree with you!”

He’s right.  But his comment got me thinking about why. 

Scripture tells us repeatedly that in marriage, two shall become one.

“…and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one.”   – Mark 10:8  (it also surfaces in Matthew, I Corinthians, Ephesians, maybe others I’m not sure)

One.  Not two.   But a body can’t have two heads.    The best businesses don’t have two presidents; they have a president and a vice president. 

And scripture also tells us that the man is the spiritual head of the household.  That’s worthy of a post (or a series of posts perhaps) but the gist of it is this:  the woman obeys her husband.  The husband has ultimate respect for his wife (love your wife as you love yourself).  This means that a lot of the time, he will actually follow his wife’s wishes, because he respects her and gives her the consideration she deserves.  

In my opinion, if this is in check, a marriage is in relative balance.  It’s when the wife doesn’t concede to the husband’s decisions or she does, but is not in turn respected and adored by the husband, that marriages start to fall apart.   Both parts of the equation need to be there.  You only have to look around to see that it’s true!   

One of the gifts we received for our wedding was a lovely iron statue of a man and a woman.  The giver of the gift told us she chose it because they are side by side but not together; each independent from each other but still quite close.   I on the other hand, have always seen it as a man and woman, completely together.  In this case, they are welded together at the feet.  That is much more my speed.  We’re committed and there is simply no stepping away.  Joined.  One flesh. 

So, you can call us Mr. and Mrs. D any day.  I am still identified by “Missus” (respected, not ignored or dismissed) yet I am there under the protection of the umbrella of my husband.  I am completely adored by him and immensely pleased to be welded to him.  

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jen
    Mar 23, 2010 @ 07:47:34

    I’ve read this over a couple of times. I have some thoughts/questions….but better shared over a coffee sometime. 🙂 But I did want to commend you for putting it out there. It takes courage to share your beliefs. Good for you. 🙂


  2. Trackback: The Structure of our Marriage « Joy and Contentment

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