Sure, it means the end of the work week and the end of the homeschool week, but more than anything, for David and me, Friday screams “Date Night!”
Like everyone else, we are busy. We go full tilt all week. David and I cut many of our weektime conversations short because there are 6 little ears listening to us and hanging on every word of our grown up conversations. Friday is our opportunity to reconnect. No wonder we look forward to it.
We started Date Night long before we had children. In that season of our life together it was the busyness of our careers and our various personal and “couple” activities. You know the kind. The Saturday nights that were always spent with other couple friends in the days when there were no children in your regular circle. But even when our children were merely a twinkle in our eyes, we were thankfully able to recognize the importance of protecting our marriage. It is the foundation upon which everything else in is built. And we all know how catastrophe may lie in a shaky foundation…
Let’s face it, we are in the midst of a spiritual battle. It’s true. It’s good vs. evil and it is REAL. Everywhere you turn, marriages are falling apart, children are suffering, men and women and aching, or questioning, or searching. We see friends and family going through it. It’s everywhere and it’s awful. Temptation ruminates at every corner, waiting for someone to bite into the apple. It comes in many forms (most often sex, addictions and money) but it is there.
But God gave us this amazing thing called Free Will. He gives us his Word, the guidemap on how to live, but then in his absolute brilliance also equipped us with this amazing ability to make our own decisions. God doesn’t decide for us. We decide for ourselves.
When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. James 1:13-14 NIV
So rather than wait for temptation to suck us in, instead of falling victim to it’s grasp, we will work hard on this marriage of ours. If we don’t have time by ourselves to communicate and share and reconnect each week, the door opens a bit wider and temptation has a better chance of creeping in. No thank you!
So, what does our typical date night look like ?
The kids are fed a kid-favourite meal (tonight it’s homemade pizza). They know that Friday night is date night. They know why it’s important. Kids are able to see destruction of families. It’s not hard to miss – it’s all around. But kids are also able to see a Mom and Dad who make time for eachother and that is a very positive thing.
Our Littles head to bed based on their various ages and by the time the eldest is doing his private reading (around 8:30), we have cracked a bottle of red and are cooking in the kitchen.
Tonight, we’re making pad thai. Last week, and in fact most weeks (because we love it so much), we do Italian night: Insalata Caprese, procuitto and Genoa salami, brie, antipasto and crackers, olives (but not for me – blech).
We don’t watch tv. We don’t watch a movie. We light a couple candles and play one of our favourite ambient or smooth jazz stations on iTunes or Flycast. We spend hours and hours chatting. This is usually our latest night of the week because we talk so much the time always seems to get away from us. We head into the weekend feeling especially connected and very pleased to still be feeling so in touch after almost 19 years together (over 12 of marriage).
So, Friday is a day we really look forward to. It’s always a Finer Thing in my mind.
If you don’t already do date night, I would highly encourage you to give it a try. It need not cost much. It need not include anything earth shattering. What it does need is a husband and his wife and a chunk of uninterrupted time to enjoy eachother’s company like you did back in the day.
Do it to lift up your marriage and give it the respect and adoration it deserves.